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Divine Tease/ HR Roundup

We Don’t Bite…Unless You Ask Nicely

By heather.rainier
The Dancing Pony pickup line of the week is….

I enjoy the holiday seasons, no matter whether it’s Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, etc… They inspire people to do good things for others. Granted, we should be searching for ways to express selflessness all year round but the holidays remind us that we’re blessed and should help others out whenever and wherever we can.

I witnessed one such act of kindness recently.

It all started a couple of weekends ago with a young cowboy friend of mine,

named Luis, who was suffering from a little holiday depression. All of his family lives in Brazil and he couldn’t take off of work long enough to go home for the holidays.

He comes up here, legally, every year on a temporary work visa. He usually stays three to four months and then returns to Brazil. The money he makes here is enough to sustain him and his widowed mother back home for the year because their cost of living is so much lower.

Anyway, my friend came in the Dancing Pony and was sitting at the bar having a beer. A young woman came in with her co-workers who were having an office party. She walked up to the bar and ordered a pitcher of Divine Margaritas for her table.

She leaned toward the bartender and asked who Luis was, and if he was with someone. The bartender explained his situation to her and she turned to him and said,

“Hey, Cowboy. My name is Erica. What’s your name?”

“I’m Luis, ma’am.”

“Well, ‘Luis-ma’am,’ you look like you could use some cheering up. Would you care to join us?

We don’t bite…unless you ask nicely.”

She gave him a devilish smile and Luis looked a little tongue-tied but he accepted and they moved over to the party’s table right next to the bar.

Erica asked Luis about his family back home and if he had any way to contact them and he said, “I have a cell phone but it’s a limited plan so I can’t call as much as I’d like to.”

“Does your family have a computer at home?”

Luis said, “No, but I hope to be able to buy a tablet or something before I have to leave this year.”

Erica leaned over and whispered something in the ear of her closest co-worker and then the co-worker turned to the one next to her. The action was repeated all the way around the table.

The ladies looked at each other and cheered.

Erica dazzled Luis with another smile and said, “It just so happens that we have two tablets here that were office party drawing prizes. They both have Skype loaded onto them, so you can communicate with your family for free. We’ve decided to give them to you and we’ll also pay the shipping to get one of them to Brazil. You should be able to video chat with your family by next weekend. That is provided they have a Wi-Fi service to connect to—and provided you agree to our terms.”

All the women nodded with avid glee.

Looking happy and confused at the same time, Luis said, “I don’t know what to say, ladies. I—wait. What terms are you referring to?”

Erica looked at Luis, and then at all the ladies, and said, “You have to dance with all of us, unless of course your wife would object to it.”

Luis said, “Oh, I don’t have a—”

Before he could finish his sentence the whole table cheered again and Erica said, “Awesome!

Then I get you first. Let’s go, Cowboy.”

They put that young cowboy through his paces that night, although he looked as though he didn’t mind at all.

Fast forward to this past weekend. They all returned, before we got busy, and set up a video conference with his family right here at the club. It was very heartwarming and brought tears to everyone’s eyes.

It’s definitely worth mentioning that Erica and Luis danced only with each other that night.

I love the Holidays. Merry Christmas to all.

©Heather Rainier 2018


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Slices of Life from the Dancing Pony

I’ll Train Your Puppy If You’ll Dance With Me

By heather.rainier
The Dancing Pony pickup line of the week is…

‘Tis the season here in Divine and lots of people are busy shopping at the stores and doing their visiting around town. We tend to see people in the nightclub we don’t normally see any other time of year.

There’s a gentleman I’m friends with who lives way outside of town. Sam is in his fifties, lives alone, and his farm is mostly self-sustaining. His wife died when he was in his twenties, before they had any kids.

Given his persistent  lack of a social life, I don’t think he’s ever gotten over her loss.

Anyway, I saw Sam in town looking at the Christmas lights. While we were chatting, he told me that Christmas was about the only time he could ever get his wife, Chrissy, to come to town to do more than just the usual grocery shopping because she liked the lights so much.

I invited him to come by the Pony early one evening, before it got too crowded, for a little holiday cheer. It wasn’t a sure thing that he’d actually show up but I needed to at least invite him.

He surprised me and came in early on Saturday, sat at the bar, and we chatted for a while. Over the course of the conversation, he told me he was in need of a good working dog, since his last one died recently. The dog’s name was Com’ere, short for “Come Here.” Sam obviously appreciates simplicity.

While we were talking, a couple of women came in after a day of Christmas shopping and sat down the bar from Sam.

I noticed one of the ladies eyeing Sam as though she recognized him.

She got the bartender’s attention and he told her who Sam was. Recognition dawned and it was obvious she was trying to catch Sam’s eye.

Happy to help a lady out, the bartender mentioned that they were trying to keep Sam at the bar while I got in touch a friend who owned a cow dog that’d recently had a litter of puppies. He suggested she could help by striking up a conversation with him. The pretty woman walked over to Sam and said, “You’re Sam Haines, right?”

Sam nodded shyly. “Uh, yes ma’am.”

“I’m Brenda Miller. Do you remember me from high school?”

Sam blinked and then he smiled. “Yes ma’am. You were the nice cheerleader.”

A pink blush filled her cheeks and she replied, “That’s sweet of you to say. I hope I deserved that title.”

Sam said, “Yes ma’am. You were the only pretty girl who ever said ‘hi’ to me in school.

I was too redneck for everyone else.”

A little frown crossed her brow at the way he referred to himself but then she smiled and eased into the seat beside him. “It’s nice to be recalled kindly like that but I remember you as the strong silent handsome type. Actually, I’d always hoped you would ask me out but…then we graduated and I moved away for college.”

He seemed at a loss as to what to say to that but Brenda filled the gaps until he gradually slipped into a warm conversation with her. It was gratifying, watching the way she set him at ease.

While they were talking, I was got in touch with my friend and he was more than happy to bring the newly weaned puppies up to the nightclub parking lot for Sam to see. When they arrived, Brenda went outside with Sam to see them.

Sam zeroed in quickly on the one he liked and Brenda fell in love with one of them as well. She was pulling out her wallet to pay for it when Sam told her to put her money away. “I’m paying for your puppy, if you’re sure you want her. It’s the least I can do, Brenda. I haven’t had such a nice conversation with a member of the opposite sex in years.

I feel like I’ve come out of hibernation, thanks to you.”

Brenda’s cheeks turned an adorable shade of red. “Well, I guess it’d be all right, if you’re willing. I’ll need to take her for obedience training, I guess.”

Seeming suddenly a little bolder in the dim parking lot lighting, Sam said, “I can handle training her for you, free of charge, and it’ll give me an excuse to visit you if that’s okay.”

It was Brenda’s turn to stutter a little. “Th-That would—I would like that. You’d do that for free?”

Sam looked a little stumped for a second but then grinned big. “Well, I do have one condition.”

Brenda said, “Sure, what is it?”

“I’ll train your puppy if you’ll dance with me.”

Brenda giggled as her puppy licked her chin and said, “Wow, that deal seems kind of one-sided in my favor.”

Sam said, “Pretty lady, you say the sweetest things.” He escorted her back into the club with a brand new spring in his step, and he was walking tall as she allowed him to lead her onto the dance floor.

I found a cardboard box and we put the puppies in the DJ booth with Dave. He loved it because it drew all the single ladies up to the booth like crazy.

After debate and numerous suggestions from the bartenders and waitresses, the puppies were named Jack, as in Jack Daniels, and Margarita, as in Brenda’s favorite drink, my Divine Margarita.

Sam and Brenda danced and talked for a while that night and then left together with their puppies.

One of my bartenders said, “A new girlfriend and a brand new puppy. Santa must have thought Sam was REALLY good this year.” From all of us at the Ranch, Have a very Merry Christmas!

©Heather Rainier 2018

~~~

Want more Christmas Cheer, check out my Christmas short stories…

Have a friend you’d like to introduce to Divine, Texas? Need a stocking stuffer? Give them one of my boxed sets for Christmas!

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Slices of Life from the Dancing Pony

“Sure, Big Foot, I’d love to dance with you…

By heather.rainier 3 Comments
The Dancing Pony pickup line of the week is…
This weekend’s Dancing Pony Halloween Party had a great turn out.

We had a costume contest and door prizes and it was a lot of fun. In attendance were some of the regulars like Dracula, witches, a mummy, princesses, etc…There were also some characters in costume that we had a hard time figuring out.

One of our bartenders, who had the night off, bet our other bartenders that they wouldn’t recognize him in his costume. They lost 20 bucks to him. He was dressed as a rodeo clown but his makeup was so well done nobody could tell it was him all night. There was even a couple dressed as a chicken and an egg. That led to some interesting conversations about who came first.

The anonymity a costume offers allows the shy ones to shed some of their inhibitions.

One such young man, who comes in occasionally, was dressed up as Big Foot. He had to take his mask off to order a drink, which was the only reason we knew who he was.

Big Foot was sitting at the bar when a young lady came up and ordered a drink. She had on a revealing black, skin-tight body suit with several large papier mache chain links wrapped around her from shoulder to ankle, with one broken out in the middle.

One of our bartenders pointed her out to me and said,

“Talk about a match made in heaven.

We’ve got to get those two together—the Missing Link and Big Foot.” He went over to Big Foot and said, “You’ve got to ask her to dance, dude. It’s like the gods want you two to meet.”

Our hero, being a little slow on the uptake, said, “Man, she’s really beautiful. I don’t know if she’d go for a guy like me, though. What’s she supposed to be anyway?”

The bartender shook his head in disbelief. “You’re kidding right? She’s the Missing Link and you’re Big Foot. Come on, it’s as good a conversation starter as you’re ever going to get. Go ask her to dance. If you’re shy about it, keep your mask on.”

“Well, I guess it’s worth a try. Here goes nothing.” Big Foot walked up to the Missing Link, which was quite a sight in itself since he was about six foot five and she was barely 5 feet tall.

She turned to him, evidently saw the irony, and laughed—which I’m guessing wasn’t good for our hero’s ego—because he froze. You could almost see him turn red behind his mask. Then she said, “Wow! Your costume is really life-like.”

Bigfoot replied, “H-Hi. Uh, thanks. I was wondering if you’d” –he pointed a hairy arm at the dance floor— “like to dance with me.”

She laughed again and said, “That should make for some interesting bar talk. Sure, Big Foot, I’d love to dance with you. But afterwards you have to do me a favor.”

“Okay. What kind of favor?”

The Missing Link said, “You have to take your mask off so I can understand you better. I can barely make out what you’re saying.”

He nodded and she took his hand as he led her to the dance for. After the dance was over they returned to their seats at the bar and she said, “Okay, Mr. Big Foot, you have to let me see who I was dancing with.”

He reluctantly took off his head mask and laid it on the bar.

The way her eyes lit up spoke volumes.

I thought she was going to kiss him right then, but she reached out and gently removed some of the loose costume hair from his face and said, “Wow, talk about contrast. I think the costume is awesome but what made you want to dress up like Big Foot?”

“Well, social situations have always been hard for me, being kind of shy. I thought this would be good because then nobody could see who I was. It made me feel more at ease. What about you? You could make any costume in the world look good, why this one?”

She blushed bright pink as she replied, “Thank you. I just wanted to do something out of the ordinary. The idea for the Missing Link costume came from a friend and figured it would be fun to try. I was tired of the same old witch and princess outfits that I’ve worn in the past. Figured I could give people a laugh anyway.”

Big Foot said, “I have to admit I didn’t get it until the bartender explained your costume to me. But in all fairness, You’re so beautiful that it’s hard to concentrate on your costume.”

Her jaw dropped and then her smile practically lit up the room. She palmed his cheeks and kissed him. He turned beet red and stuttered. “W-Wow! What was that for?”

“You are just so sweet. I’m sorry if I seem forward but for some reason I feel comfortable with you. Would you like to dance again?”

“Sure!” Big Foot and the Missing Link danced together the rest of the evening and they also won our most creative couple award. Even though they didn’t come in as a couple, they did leave together. Since I’m the boss, and one of the costume judges, I can do that. LOL.

©Heather Rainier 2018

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Slices of Life from the Dancing Pony

I’d Go Just About Anywhere With You

By heather.rainier One Comment
The Dancing Pony pickup line of the week is…

It all started during happy hour on Friday night with two young ladies who came in and sat at the bar. A vivacious redhead and a gorgeous, voluptuous blonde who reminded me of Grace when I’d first met her: shy and flighty.

She didn’t look around the club at all and the only person she made direct eye contact with was her friend.

They talked quietly for a while and then the redhead asked the bartender if there were any decent single men in the club who might like to dance with her friend. She placed special emphasis on the word “decent” and I understood what the redhead was asking.

The bartender said, “You’ve come to the right place. Two such beautiful ladies won’t have any trouble meeting someone. I might be able steer you in the right direction and I can point out the players you should probably avoid, as well.”

Just then three cowboys from one of Divine Creek Ranch’s neighboring ranches came in,

sat at the bar, and ordered beers. One of them is a young friend of mine named Kenny. He’s a shy but good-looking young man and has a good head on his shoulders so I asked the bartender to find a way to introduce him to the blonde.

The bartender got Kenny’s attention, pointed her out, and told him that she was in need of a dance partner and thought he might fit the bill. The bartender also said, “But go easy, she seems really shy.”

Kenny looked over and his eyebrows shot to the ceiling.

“As gorgeous as she is, she’s got no reason to be shy.”

He watched her for a few minutes, seeming to need a little time to get up his own courage and then walked up behind her and said, “Hi, I’m—”

Unfortunately, for both of them, he startled her. She twisted in her chair, gaped at him, and before he could even finish his offer of a dance, she murmured something in a breathless voice and then darted for the ladies’ room.

Her friend smiled in commiseration at Kenny and said,

“It’s not you, Cowboy. She’s a little hand-shy. We’ll be right back.” And then she hurried after her friend, muttering something about getting back on the horse.

A few minutes later they came out and the blonde approached Kenny with apology in her eyes. “I’m so sorry about that. I’d like to dance with you…if you still want to.”

Kenny gave her a friendly smile and nodded, not making any sudden movements, much like I’d seen him do when he worked with a new, skittish horse. “I’m sorry I startled you earlier. Why don’t we sit and talk first? You know, break the ice a little, and then we’ll have our dance. Would it be all right if I joined you?”

She nodded. “You don’t mind if my friend sits with us?”

Kenny said, “Of course not.”

They found three seats at the end of the bar away from other people. Kenny had eyes only for her and didn’t notice that his buddies were watching him in mild surprise.

Kenny is pretty shy himself but it looked as though finding someone even shyer than him had a way of opening him up.

The blonde said, “I’m Des—I mean my name is Courtney. Do you live in Divine, Kenny?”

“Yes, ma’am. Born and raised here. I’ve never seen you before. Are you visiting, or did you just move to town?”

Courtney gestured to her friend. “I’m staying with my friend, Maria, for now. I lived in Houston for a long time but needed—um, wanted to get out of the big city. Maria convinced me to come here.”

“I’m not much for the big city either.” He looked down at her hands, which were clenched together on the bar. He pointed at the twining vine tattoo around her ring finger. “You have a boyfriend—or husband—joining you here in Divine?”

Courtney glanced down at her hands and then covered the tattoo up with her fingertips. “No. Not at all. It’s not what you think. It’s nothing.”

Kenny clasped both of her hands with his and squeezed gently. “Sorry. I don’t need to know. I’m just glad to have the company of two beautiful ladies for the evening. Why don’t we dance?”

He was walking her back to their seats after dancing, when another man walked up, looking ripe to be cut off by the bar, and grabbed Courtney by the arm and yanked her against his chest. “My turn, Blondie.

Let’s heat up this dance floor and then, if you play your cards right, I’ll let you heat up my sheets.”

Courtney looked petrified.

Kenny didn’t hesitate. He knocked the guy halfway across the dance floor. I think he would’ve jumped on top of the asshole but Mike and Rogelio, the bouncers, held him off.

Mike slapped his back and said, “Good shot, Kenny, but from the looks of it he’s out cold. He don’t need no more. See to your lady and we’ll take it from here.”

Kenny turned back to Courtney, who looked shaken up, and took her hand. “Are you okay?”

She looked like she was holding back tears as he hugged her, and she said, “I’m sorry. You must think I’m a big, hysterical mess. I’m—”

Kenny placed a finger gently on her lips.

“I think you’re sweet, kind, and beautiful. If you don’t mind being seen with a ranch hand then I’d like to go out with you sometime.”

Her smile lit up the room as she nodded. “I think I’d go just about anywhere with you.”

She had her back turned so she missed it when Maria high-fived the bartender.

After overhearing all of this, I asked Dave the DJ to play “Anywhere With You” by Jake Owen. The couple turned back to the dance floor and I gave Dave a thumbs-up. Everything went back to normal, or at least as normal as it gets around here. I think we will see these two again. He’s one of the good guys and I hope eventually she tells him her real name. Only time will tell.

©Heather Rainier 2018

~~~

Mood Music:

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Slices of Life from the Dancing Pony

You’re Milking the Wrong End of the Moose, Cowboy

By heather.rainier 2 Comments
The Dancing Pony pickup line of the week is…

I’ve seen it time and time again. Giving a beverage a strange name will get people talking.

One of our regulars came in this weekend with a couple of his ranch hands.

Nick had requested that we start carrying a specific type of beer that’s not very well known around here, not yet anyway. Since he’s a regular I told him we’d try it and see if it caught on. If it did, I told him we’d stock it regularly.

I’ve always been able to move small amounts of pretty much any kind of alcohol but this one was going to be a challenge.

The beer itself is a brown ale that’s made in the US. If you like brown ale it’s a really good beer, it just has a strange name. Moose Drool. I told the distributor that the beer tasted great but they needed to work on their marketing. Lol.

Back to my story…

Nick and his ranch hands came in and ordered Moose Drool. They were sitting at the bar enjoying them and talking about their day when a young woman who was sitting down the bar with a friend got the bartender’s attention and said, “I’ve never seen that brand of beer before. I was wondering what it was.”

Seeing an opportunity to play matchmaker, the bartender said, “The cowboy there in the middle is the one who got us to special order it. His name is Nick. I’m sure he’d be happy to tell you more about it. ”

After thanking the bartender, she walked over to Nick. “Hi, my name is Kim. I don’t mean to disturb you but I was wondering if you could tell me what kind of beer that is? I’ve never seen it around here before.”

Looking pleasantly surprised, Nick said, “A pretty lady is never a disturbance. This is Moose Drool. It’s an American Brown Ale.”

She smiled and said, “Well, I think if you’re wanting something to drink, you’re milking the wrong end of the moose, cowboy.”

They all laughed and one of the ranch hands spewed Moose Drool out of his nose.

Nick invited her to sit with them and try one and she accepted. She actually thought it was pretty good, too, and they talked for quite some time. Nick also makes his own beer and she seemed truly interested in the process, as well as in him.

They danced several times that evening and Nick invited her out to his ranch to see his beer-making operation. Who would’ve thought that Moose Drool would bring two people together?

©Heather Rainier 2018

~~~

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Slices of Life from the Dancing Pony

I’m Not Interested In Your Pathetic Pickup Line, So Get Lost…

By heather.rainier 2 Comments

The Dancing Pony pickup line of the week is….

Sometimes the best pickup lines are not actually pickup lines. And how well someone can eat crow says a lot about them.

We had a good crowd this weekend, probably because of the wet weather. Construction-type work is difficult to get done when the weather is like this so we usually get an early crowd on those days.

A couple of ladies were sitting at the bar,

one blonde named Jenna and a brunette by the name of Lisa. They were discussing Jenna’s latest failed relationship when a group of cowboys who’d obviously gotten rained out of whatever they were doing came in. They gathered at the bar and ordered drinks.

Lisa said, “Look, Jenna, you’re never going to meet someone nice with that kind of attitude toward men. You need to give the nice guys a chance. You might be surprised. Look at all those cowboys that just came in. They look like decent guys. Maybe one of them will ask you to dance.”

Rolling her eyes, Jenna replied, “Yeah, sure.

I don’t have that kind of luck.”

Lisa said, “Oh, lighten up girl.”

Just then the tallest cowboy in the group started pointing in the ladies’ direction and talking to his buddies.

Lisa nudged Jenna and said, “Look, I think the tall one is pointing at you.”

The men turned away and were laughing and joking about something. With a blush in her cheeks Jenna turned her back on them and said, “See? All men are alike. They only have one thing on their minds and as long as they can crow with their buddies they don’t care about anything else.”

Lisa said, “You don’t know what they’re saying. Maybe he likes how you look and he’s trying to get up the guts to ask you to dance.

If he comes over here you’d better be nice.”

Jenna pointed at herself and then looked at Lisa as if she’d taken leave of her senses. “Oh yeah, I’ll be nice all right. Nice and loud.”

The tall cowboy walked over to the ladies. Right when he got close to them Jenna turned, looked up at him, and in a loud voice said, “No, it didn’t hurt.”

The cowboy blinked in confusion. Opened his mouth to speak but halted. Tilted his head at her and finally said, “I’m sorry, what?”

Jenna scoffed and replied, “I’m not into whatever you think I’m into and

I’m not interested in your pathetic pickup line, so get lost.”

The cowboy backed away a half a step and put up his hands mildly in surrender. “Well…that’s okay, pretty lady, because

I was just headed over to speak with that man.”

He pointed at the man sitting a couple of chairs down from Jenna, and then turned his crooked grin back to her. “Although, I am wondering a few other things at the moment.”

He tipped his hat, and continued on past her to the man he needed to talk to. After his conversation he returned to his seat, nodding at her as he passed by but not stopping.

Jenna sat back and put her hands over her red face. “I am such a bitch.”

Her friend chuckled and said, “I told you to be nice.

That missed the mark by a mile, sweetie.”

Jenna said, “I’ve had such terrible luck lately, I assumed he was talking about me when he was pointing and laughing. My instincts are usually better. I don’t know what to think anymore.”

Lisa said, “Well, this is what you get for thinking the worst. You could buy him a drink and say you’re sorry.”

“You think that would change anything now?

I’m sure he thinks I’m psycho.”

Lisa laughed and said, “And he’d be correct. Give the guy a little credit. He might surprise you. At the very least, you do owe him the apology and a drink might be a great way to break the ice.”

So Jenna ordered the whole group of cowboys a round of drinks and told the bartender to tell the tall cowboy she was sorry for her lapse in judgment.

After the bartender delivered the message, the tall cowboy came over and took off his hat. “Hello, ladies. I’m Jeremy, but my friends call me Tex. Look, I’m sorry about my part in the misunderstanding earlier. We’re a loud bunch and I can see how you might’ve thought I was pointing at you and talking about you. Those guys all work for me and we got rained out today on a job.” He gestured to his shirt, which was clearly damp. “Right when we got here, I noticed that man was wearing the type of waterproof and flame resistant coat I’ve been looking for and I wanted to find out if he bought it around here because I could use one. That’s all I was doing, but I can understand why you mistook it.”

Red-faced, Jenna introduced herself and Lisa, and said, “I’m so sorry about that.

I haven’t had the best luck with men lately.

That doesn’t excuse my rudeness to you but it’s very sweet of you to understand.”

Tex said, “Well, consider the slate completely clean then, Jenna. Now, if you’d do me the honor of dancing with me,

Maybe I could change your luck a little.”

Lisa lightly jabbed Jenna in the ribs and whispered, “You’d better go dance with him because if you don’t, I’m jumping his bones right here and now.”

They danced together a lot that night, and exchanged information before leaving, so I’m pretty sure we’ll see them together again.

©Heather Rainier 2018

~~~

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Slices of Life from the Dancing Pony

The Man Behind the Art

By heather.rainier 2 Comments

The Dancing Pony pickup line of the week is….

A gentleman who is rather well-known in the local area as a painter and sculptor of western art stopped by the Dancing Pony to give us a gift. He’s a friend of mine and we’ve known each other a long time. He’s shy and reclusive, and has been divorced for quite some time because his ex-wife didn’t believe he’d amount to anything. That was a stupid move on her part because I think it’s just a matter of time before he’s world renowned in art circles.

A few weeks back, his horse got out and wandered over to the ranch. To thank us for helping him get the animal back to his place safely, he brought us a painting of an old cowboy sitting on a stool, whittling. The subject matter is simple, but the details and the way he used light to set the mood makes the observer feel as though they’re looking at the real thing. I proudly hung it behind the bar right after he gave it to us.

While he sat at the bar talking to us, a lady was admiring the painting and asked the bartender where we got it. He pointed out our friend to her.

“There’s the man himself. His name is Bart and he’s a local artist.”

The lady walked up to him and introduced herself. “Hi, I’m DeAnne. I was told that you created the painting on the wall there. Do you by chance have a gallery I could visit?”

Bart gazed at her speechlessly and then turned red. Not because he knew her but because she was very pretty, and he’s very shy. He stuttered out a reply, “Uh, n-no ma’am. I just work from home. I-I m-mostly work by commission.”

“Well, I’d love to see more of your work if you wouldn’t mind.

I happen to have some connections in the art world. Do you have any pictures of your work with you? And please, call me DeAnne. That’s what my friends call me.”

It was obvious his tongue was tied so I interrupted. “I happen to have a few pictures on my phone of Bart’s best works.” I pulled up the photos on my smartphone handed it to her. Bart turned red again and spent a lot of time looking down at his boots while DeAnne silently thumbed through the pictures, so I said, “Bart is one of the most talented men I know but very humble about what he creates. Those pictures don’t really do his art justice but if you ask anyone around here, they’ll tell you how beautiful his works are.”

After she was done looking through the pictures, she gazed up at Bart and said,

“Do you have any idea how talented you are?”

Bart said, “Th-th-that’s very nice of you to say, ma’am. I-I figured these folks say things like that because they’re my friends. It’s nice to hear it from someone I just met.”

DeAnne paused for a moment as if weighing her words and then said, “I must admit the main reason I came over here was because of the painting, but…” She blushed and then it was her turn to stutter.

“I-I would love to get to know the man behind the art a little better. Would you care to have dinner with me sometime?”

Bart looked like he honestly didn’t know what to say. He looked over at me and I leaned in and whispered, “DeAnne seems sincere. You’re crazy if you don’t take her up on her offer.”

He nodded and smiled. “I’d love to have dinner. How about tomorrow night?”

Bart looked pleased when she accepted, and then pleasantly surprised when she mentioned she was here celebrating her birthday. Shortly after, a group of her friends arrived to celebrate with her, but I got the distinct impression she was being drawn back to him time and again. Finally her friends noticed and shooed her over to him and found plenty of cowboys who wanted to dance. Bart and DeAnne talked and danced the rest of the evening and parted ways at closing. Before he left, he came over to me and said, “Ethan, I’m not a good cook. What do I do about the date? I don’t want to run her off.”

“It’s already been taken care of. You have a reservation for 6:00 pm at Tessa’s.

All the employees pitched in and your evening is paid for. I’d suggest bringing flowers since it was her birthday tonight, but all you have to do is be yourself. Have fun, and I’ll see you soon.”

I’m sure we’ll get the details soon. I think DeAnne will appreciate him for who he is: A great guy who happens to be amazingly talented. I love my job.

©Heather Rainier 2018

~~~

PS: Happy Birthday, DeAnne! May you have many, many, MANY more.

Love, Heather

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Slices of Life from the Dancing Pony

Dancing Pony: Blast from the Past

By heather.rainier

The Dancing Pony pickup line

this week is a blast from the past featuring some well-known characters in Divine…

Sometimes, despite our best efforts to sabotage ourselves—or our friends in this case—true love prevails.

I wonder sometimes who started the “I dare you to…” thing.

Maybe it was a caveman. The first guy to ever eat an egg—I can just picture it. Bunch of cavemen sitting around a fire when one says to the others, “Hey, I dare you to eat the next thing that comes out of that chickens butt.”

Can’t you just see him trying to convince his buddies? “It’s really good, you should try it.”

Anyway, a group of cowboys were sitting at the bar, talking about women and the “hunting prowess” of two particular cowboys in the group, Josh and Lucas.

They’re in their early thirties, 6 feet tall, both around two hundred lbs. Both are well built, because of their work in their family’s construction business, and they look like athletes.

They were being rather humble about their track records with the ladies and one of their buddies said, “Aw come on, you’ve got us all at a disadvantage. When either of you are here, none of us has a chance because the ladies are all lookin’ at the two of you.

I’ll bet you could say anything you wanted to a woman and she’d still go out with you.

Hell, if I looked like either of you, I’d be getting’ laid every night.”

Then another one spoke up and said,

“I bet you could walk up to any single woman in here and say, ‘Hey, want to fuck?’ and she’d walk out of here with you.

But we get to pick the girl.”

Josh didn’t look so jazzed about the idea, and neither did Lucas for that matter.

Because I’ve seen them in here on occasion, I had a pretty good idea of why.

They aren’t after “just any woman” these days.

Lucas asked, “Both of us on one woman?”

“Hey, this is Divine. It’s not like you’d shock her all that bad.”

Josh said, “Aw, come on now. We can’t do that to a lady. That’s not me, guys.

What if she’s really nice and we offend her because of this?”

Another buddy in the group put a nail in the coffin by saying,

“You chicken?”

That’s usually the last thing said before trouble starts, either that or “Hold my beer and watch this shit.”

So our heroes reluctantly took the challenge. The group of buddies waited and watched as various ladies walked in the front door and they argued about which one to let our heroes loose on.

After a while, three women walked in

together and sat at the other end of the bar from our cowboys, who were now eyeing the three of them speculatively. I said a brief payer when I recognized all three, thinking things were about to get critical. I even got the cordless phone out, ready to page Josh and Lucas for an “emergency” phone call from their dad if need be—if their buddies picked the wrong girl.

The blonde in the group, Violet, is a petite, voluptuous young woman.

She seems self-confident but what that group of buddies didn’t know was going to cause as lot of harm if they picked either of her two friends.

Down at the other end of the bar, the other two ladies, Cassie and Jessica, were bugging Violet about getting out more and having a good time and not being so uptight.

Cassie said, “You’ve got to have a life outside of work or you’re going to go crazy.”

“I’m just focused, that’s all. I can let loose when it’s warranted.”

“Prove it,” Jessica said disbelievingly.

Without looking around, Cassie said, “Loosen that business woman persona up a little and have some fun. Say yes to the first cowboy that walks up to you.”

Violet sipped her drink “Okay, if it will shut y’all up. But I’m not getting drunk.”

Her friend said, “Well, it’s a start girlfriend. You’ve got to unwind or you’re going to drive your employees to drinking, or quitting.”

Meanwhile over in the other group, the buddy who had thrown down the bet said,

“That’s her, right there. The curvy blonde.

None of us would have a chance with a woman like that, but I bet she falls at both your feet.”

Another man from the group called out, “We gotta put some money on this. Who’s in?” They all started talking at once and none of them seemed to notice the utterly relieved look that passed between Josh and Lucas. I put the phone back in its cradle and just waited for events to unfold.

As the betting continued, Josh and Lucas were half laughing and half-disgusted.

Josh said, “All right guys, but whatever happens, this is the first, last, and ONLY time we ever do this for y’all.”

They removed their cowboy hats and slowly walked over to the group of ladies. Cassie and Jessica were watching them walk up, and they were practically breaking ribs, they were elbowing each other so hard. Violet had her back to the room so didn’t know who was approaching.

Josh and Lucas sidled up on either side of Violet. Josh looked like he was bracing himself to get hit in the mouth and said

“Hey, Violet. Want to fuck?”

Violet, who had been sitting there appearing disinterested, looked up, smiled, and said,

“Both of you? Sure, why not.”

Josh’s jaw actually dropped as she grabbed both of their hands and tugged them toward the dance floor. All Lucas could do was blink.

Josh and Lucas’s buddies were whooping and hollering loud enough for the whole club to hear, and exchanging money as bets were won and lost.

As they neared the edge of the dance floor, one of our waitresses overheard as Violet noticed the uproar at the bar, then frowned and said,

“Waaaait. What did you just ask me?”

Josh’s face turned red as a barn door and he said, “I’m sorry, Violet, but our friends put us up to it. They bet we could say anything to a lady and get away with it. We’ll understand if you want to walk away…after you punch me in the mouth.”

She giggled and said, “You know what? I think we should kill two birds with one stone. Cassie and Jessica have been bugging me about getting out and having fun. Why don’t the three of us dance once, and then without a word leave together?

Maybe that’ll shut all of them up for a while.”

The brothers looked at each other and Lucas said, “If that’ll help you out, we’re game. Would you like to go get a cup of coffee somewhere? It’s kind of stuffy in here for me tonight anyway. Too much hot air.”

She nodded. “How about Rudy’s? We can talk there without having to yell over the music and noise.”

Josh said, “You got it.”

After the dance they didn’t even come back to their seats. They just bolted out the door, followed by some rather loud cowboy’s voices calling, “See? I told you they could do it! You owe me 20 bucks!”

Cassie and Jessica, on the other hand were giving each other “OMG” looks.

Then laughter ensued and Cassie said, “Her employees are gonna to be praising those cowboys on Monday morning.”

Ah, love. It is a many splendored thing. Or splintered.

LOL.

~~~

Now, with all that said,

if you’d like to read the rest of that story then pick up a copy of Lumberjack Weekend. I promise it’s one wild ride.

~~~

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Slices of Life from the Dancing Pony

The Dancing Pony draws the most beautiful women…

By heather.rainier 3 Comments

The Dancing Pony pickup line of the week is….

It amazes me what brings people together.

Sometimes it’s things that you’d think would repel instead of attract, but most of the time it’s the simple things that people have in common or find attractive that bring them together.

Two cowboys, Will and Rick, were sitting at the bar this weekend talking about sci-fi movies.

Rick said, “With Hollywood nowadays, you can’t tell real life from animation. Computer generated images make movies look so real. I watched one about robots that look and act exactly like humans. It’s scary to think about what would happen if they really could make robots with artificial intelligence.”

Will, who is the older of the two cowboys said, “Yeah, well, we already have more artificial intelligence than we know what to do with in Washington, DC.”

Two women who were sitting at a nearby table had evidently heard their conversation and burst into laughter at the cowboy’s response.

The lady with dark hair looked at the older cowboy and said, “You got that right, cowboy. Maybe the scientists should study the politicians to learn how to create it.”

Both cowboys laughed and the older one said, “Would you ladies mind if we joined you?”

The women both agreed, and the cowboys asked the bartender to bring another round for all of them as they moved over to their table.

The older cowboy introduced himself, and the dark haired lady said, “My name is Tracey, and this is my friend, Sandra.”

Will gently shook both their hands. “Do y’all live here or are you just passin’ through?”

Tracey smiled and replied with a straight face.

“We’re both Congresswomen from DC, down here on the campaign trail.”

Will’s face turned red and he looked tongue-tied until Tracey laughed and said, “Just kidding!

We’re both nurses at the hospital. What do you gentlemen do?”

Will laughed the hardest of all of them. “You got me with that one. I thought I was in trouble for a second. We work at a ranch west of here. It’s our weekend off so we came to town to relax, heard about this club, and we figured we’d check it out. I can see why it’s so popular. It draws the most beautiful women, all the way from DC even.”

They were still laughing when a fight broke out a few tables away,

involving another of Rick and Will’s coworkers, and the men rushed over to help out. Apparently the coworker had picked the wrong lady to flirt with. After the bouncers broke it all up and threw out the guilty parties, Will and Rick came back over and sat down with the ladies again.

Tracey looked at Will, who had evidently gotten hit with something in the ruckus and cut his forehead pretty bad, and said, “Oh my gosh, your bleeding. Let me look at that.”

Will shook his head and said, “Aw, it’s just a scratch.” He patted his forehead with a cocktail napkin but it soon became apparent that the wound did need attention.

Tracey asked the bartender for a first aid kit which, unfortunately, we keep several of in the back out of necessity.

The bartender gave her the kit and she returned to the table.

“I know you’re supposed to be a tough cowboy and all,

but I’m a nurse and I can’t just let you sit here bleeding. Now sit still and let me look at you.” After attending to his cut she said, “This needs stitches. You should go to the hospital.”

Several of us had noticed how much he’d seemed to enjoy her attention, and none of us were surprised when he smiled at her and replied,

“Tell you what…I’ll go to the hospital, but only if you do the stitching.”

She agreed and they left together.

When they returned a couple of hours later, Will had a patch on his forehead, a big smile on his face, and Tracey was on his arm. They danced together and stayed until closing.

Washington can’t do much right, but in a way it did bring two people together.

©Heather Rainier 2018

~~~

https://www.amazon.com/Heather-Rainier/e/B004RHL4JS

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Slices of Life from the Dancing Pony

The Best Seats in the House

By heather.rainier 2 Comments

The Dancing Pony pickup line of the week is….

I am of the belief that certain people meet by “divine” appointment.

I understand that we as humans can ignore—or mess up—our own destiny but I think there’s a right person out there for everybody.

It all started late Saturday afternoon as severe storms were blowing through the area.
A couple of the bartenders and I were standing under the awning outside the Dancing Pony entry, watching the lightning. The thunder was so loud even the DJ, who had his headphones on while he was setting up, heard it and came out to see.

A couple of cowboys arrived in a big Silverado and walked to the covered entry. Cowboys don’t run to get out of the rain. It’s a fact of life, and what cowboy hats and slickers are for. They paused with us to observe the light show while talking about the younger one’s love life, or lack thereof.

While we were all watching the lightning streaking across the sky,

the older cowboy said to the younger one, “Listen, just because you’ve made some mistakes in your life is no reason to think you won’t be able to meet a nice lady. You paid your debt, now get busy living your life. I’ll bet there’ll be plenty of ladies here tonight. You just need to have more confidence and don’t let the past hold you back.”

As all of this was being said, three ladies jumped out of an F-350 in the parking lot and took off running in the direction of the club. Two of them jumped up on the curb and made it safely under the awning, but a really loud crash of thunder sounded just as the third jumped up. Her boot hit the sidewalk, slipped forward, and she started to fall backward.

As if he were anticipating this event, the young cowboy reached out and caught the pretty cowgirl before she hit the concrete. Her arms landed around the cowboy’s neck as he set her on her feet and stood there staring at her.

He gazed at her like a calf looking at a new gate

and she laughed with relief and looked very grateful. Her eyebrows lifted as she looked into his eyes and she looked a little mesmerized herself.

The young cowboy moved his lips like he wanted to speak and finally his friend said, “Hey there, little lady, that was a close one.” Nudging the young cowboy in the ribs with his elbow, he said, “This is my lady-saving-friend, Ron.

He’s shy, but if you give him a minute he’ll probably say something.”

Still a little shaken, the young woman stuttered as she looked up at Ron. “W-Well sir, I-I thank you for saving me. The lightning scared me and I guess I missed my footing or something. You saved me pain and embarrassment and I’m thankful you were here.”

The young cowboy finally forced some words out and said, “G-Glad I could help, ma’am. I would’ve hated to see you get hurt.” As he said this his friend nudged him in the ribs again, as if to move him closer to her.

Seeming to understand his shyness, the young woman said,

“I admire the strong silent type. I hope you’ll save a dance for me tonight, cowboy.”

He took his hat off and nodded to her, and in a loud voice, his friend said, “Oh, he will, don’t you worry.”

One of the bartenders turned to Ron and said, “We have your favorite table set up for you and all your friends. It’s our top-shelf patron table, best seats in the house.”

Ron looked confused at first but his friend caught on and said, “I knew we could count on y’all. Ladies, would you care to join us?”

The ladies happily agreed and we all went inside. After the group was settled, I waved down a waitress, went over, and said, “This young lady will be your waitress this evening. Anything you need, she’ll take care of for you and the first round is on the house. I’ve already instructed the DJ to play any songs you request, Ron. Just let the waitress know what you want to hear. Y’all enjoy your evening.” Ron was still a little shy and confused by our generosity but he was catching on, and the ladies looked impressed.

As I left the table, the young cowgirl who had slipped earlier looked at her hero and said, “Would you mind if I requested the first song, Ron? That is, as long as you’ll dance with me?”

Looking a little more at ease, Ron said, “I’d like that. What song would you like to hear?”

“‘Give It All We Got Tonight’ by George Strait.”

I think that was the perfect song, because he never left her side the rest of the night.

He might’ve been a slow starter but he gave her all his attention from that point forward.

After the couple left together later that evening, the bartender who set all this up said, “You know, Boss, I think Grace’s match-making talents are rubbing off on us.”

I let out laughter I’d had to hold back earlier as I’d listened to this same bartender talk about having set aside the top-shelf club patron table for Ron when they’d first arrived. That was all nonsense.

All the seats in the Dancing Pony are the best seats in the house.

It’s the treatment our patrons receive that makes the difference.

©Heather Rainier 2018

~~~