I’m Not Interested In Your Pathetic Pickup Line, So Get Lost…

The Dancing Pony pickup line of the week is….

Sometimes the best pickup lines are not actually pickup lines. And how well someone can eat crow says a lot about them.

We had a good crowd this weekend, probably because of the wet weather. Construction-type work is difficult to get done when the weather is like this so we usually get an early crowd on those days.

A couple of ladies were sitting at the bar,

one blonde named Jenna and a brunette by the name of Lisa. They were discussing Jenna’s latest failed relationship when a group of cowboys who’d obviously gotten rained out of whatever they were doing came in. They gathered at the bar and ordered drinks.

Lisa said, “Look, Jenna, you’re never going to meet someone nice with that kind of attitude toward men. You need to give the nice guys a chance. You might be surprised. Look at all those cowboys that just came in. They look like decent guys. Maybe one of them will ask you to dance.”

Rolling her eyes, Jenna replied, “Yeah, sure.

I don’t have that kind of luck.”

Lisa said, “Oh, lighten up girl.”

Just then the tallest cowboy in the group started pointing in the ladies’ direction and talking to his buddies.

Lisa nudged Jenna and said, “Look, I think the tall one is pointing at you.”

The men turned away and were laughing and joking about something. With a blush in her cheeks Jenna turned her back on them and said, “See? All men are alike. They only have one thing on their minds and as long as they can crow with their buddies they don’t care about anything else.”

Lisa said, “You don’t know what they’re saying. Maybe he likes how you look and he’s trying to get up the guts to ask you to dance.

If he comes over here you’d better be nice.”

Jenna pointed at herself and then looked at Lisa as if she’d taken leave of her senses. “Oh yeah, I’ll be nice all right. Nice and loud.”

The tall cowboy walked over to the ladies. Right when he got close to them Jenna turned, looked up at him, and in a loud voice said, “No, it didn’t hurt.”

The cowboy blinked in confusion. Opened his mouth to speak but halted. Tilted his head at her and finally said, “I’m sorry, what?”

Jenna scoffed and replied, “I’m not into whatever you think I’m into and

I’m not interested in your pathetic pickup line, so get lost.”

The cowboy backed away a half a step and put up his hands mildly in surrender. “Well…that’s okay, pretty lady, because

I was just headed over to speak with that man.”

He pointed at the man sitting a couple of chairs down from Jenna, and then turned his crooked grin back to her. “Although, I am wondering a few other things at the moment.”

He tipped his hat, and continued on past her to the man he needed to talk to. After his conversation he returned to his seat, nodding at her as he passed by but not stopping.

Jenna sat back and put her hands over her red face. “I am such a bitch.”

Her friend chuckled and said, “I told you to be nice.

That missed the mark by a mile, sweetie.”

Jenna said, “I’ve had such terrible luck lately, I assumed he was talking about me when he was pointing and laughing. My instincts are usually better. I don’t know what to think anymore.”

Lisa said, “Well, this is what you get for thinking the worst. You could buy him a drink and say you’re sorry.”

“You think that would change anything now?

I’m sure he thinks I’m psycho.”

Lisa laughed and said, “And he’d be correct. Give the guy a little credit. He might surprise you. At the very least, you do owe him the apology and a drink might be a great way to break the ice.”

So Jenna ordered the whole group of cowboys a round of drinks and told the bartender to tell the tall cowboy she was sorry for her lapse in judgment.

After the bartender delivered the message, the tall cowboy came over and took off his hat. “Hello, ladies. I’m Jeremy, but my friends call me Tex. Look, I’m sorry about my part in the misunderstanding earlier. We’re a loud bunch and I can see how you might’ve thought I was pointing at you and talking about you. Those guys all work for me and we got rained out today on a job.” He gestured to his shirt, which was clearly damp. “Right when we got here, I noticed that man was wearing the type of waterproof and flame resistant coat I’ve been looking for and I wanted to find out if he bought it around here because I could use one. That’s all I was doing, but I can understand why you mistook it.”

Red-faced, Jenna introduced herself and Lisa, and said, “I’m so sorry about that.

I haven’t had the best luck with men lately.

That doesn’t excuse my rudeness to you but it’s very sweet of you to understand.”

Tex said, “Well, consider the slate completely clean then, Jenna. Now, if you’d do me the honor of dancing with me,

Maybe I could change your luck a little.”

Lisa lightly jabbed Jenna in the ribs and whispered, “You’d better go dance with him because if you don’t, I’m jumping his bones right here and now.”

They danced together a lot that night, and exchanged information before leaving, so I’m pretty sure we’ll see them together again.

©Heather Rainier 2018

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